Our feelings

It makes a big difference, for example, whether you feel motivated, grateful and lively, or whether you are anxious, angry and sad. Each of us has probably had the day when we got up "on the wrong side of the bed". Nothing really wants to work, you feel uncomfortable, irritable and just feel bad. This can go on all day and then it's evening and you look back on a bad day.

How crises influence our emotions

In times of Corona, this was particularly extreme. The structures that seemed so secure to us all broke apart. We had to stay at home, school and childcare were closed and daily meetings with family and friends were no longer allowed. Many of us were even affected by short-time work or lost their jobs completely. To continue as before was no longer possible. And at this point our feelings come into play again. Because every human being has two innate basic needs: The need for connection (belonging) and the need for freedom (autonomy). If these needs cannot be fulfilled, we feel bad. But here too there are differences. Some people get angry, are stressed and overstrained. Others withdraw, are sad and close themselves off. Of course this does not only happen in times of Corona, but also in other personal crises.

Each of us is unique

The first thing we should realize is that every person is unique. This means not only that we all feel differently, but also that everyone deals with their feelings differently. It is important that you do not compare yourself with other people or even judge yourself for how you feel inside. There are days when the weather can put you in a bad mood and other days when you feel positive despite the rain. That is life! But there is good news. With a little knowledge, patience and practice we can influence our feelings.

What do you do about feelings that don't feel good?

You know what that is? You watch the news all day long, for example about financial crises, violence and illness? Or you talk on the phone with a friend and just talk about what's going badly? Try something different in your everyday life! Focus your attention on what is good at the moment. A nice message, a good meal or the singing bird when you get up. You will notice very quickly that your mood will improve. It might even help you to write a list and record it for yourself. This exercise is of course only a small step. But there is a very simple and helpful thing behind it: Our thoughts influence our feelings. And this is exactly what we can use to get better.

When bad feelings become normal

There are many of these little exercises that can make you feel better quickly. They give you structure and stability in a personal crisis. However, it may be that none of these exercises are helpful. You feel sad over a longer period of time, you are overwhelmed and disoriented. There are times when you cannot motivate yourself for anything and simply don't know what to do. In such moments you may need support from a neutral person. That is also ok! Do not be too hard on yourself and allow yourself to accept help. There are many different possibilities for this and only you can decide what is appropriate in your situation.

The parents' hotline is there for you and supports you in your personal crisis.

From 17.06.2020 the team of parent coaches will answer your personal questions live on Instagram. Of course anonymous and free of charge. Feel free to contact us and get in touch with Instagram or at redaktion@elternhotline.de

If you are looking for counselling, the parents' hotline has compiled a list here https://elternhotline.de/de/beratung which may help you in your search.

Published on 15.06.2020