"We need to talk."

As we have heard from various teachers, especially the parent-teacher conferences are not always well attended. This is a pity, because especially in special situations it helps children when parents and teachers get along well.

Because of the pandemic, there is now the possibility to meet digitally in front of the screen. At the beginning this might be unusual, but it also saves the sometimes long way to school.

The important thing remains: There's no reason to be nervous here. You'll be working with the teaching staff to create a safe environment for the child.

How can I motivate my child without exerting too much pressure?

First of all, I'm sure you want to know how your child is doing in school. You want him to perform well, but you don't want to overwhelm him. The teacher can usually answer this question very well because she spends several hours with him in the classroom. There are a lot of things that stand out.

These need not be big surprises, but are often helpful impressions for understanding what your child is particularly good at and what he or she needs help with. Teachers will help you to find "set screws" and turn them.

Possible set screws are

• Encourage your child to come to class more often
• Finding a good learning partner
• Make sure that homework is done for a specific subject

What should I talk about with the teacher?

The best way to do this is to tell how you know your child and how you experience him or her when doing schoolwork. "Transparency" is very important in parent-teacher conferences. Especially for teachers it is helpful to hear what you tell about home. This helps them to better understand your child's behaviour in class and in the classroom.

The important thing is to find out who your child is and how you can support him or her to go their way. For example, if he or she would very much like to contribute to the class, but doesn't dare to come forward, you can practice this with him or her. Together with the teacher you can find such points, work on them together and after a few months you can see what has changed.

How can I help my child have a good time at school?

The basis for such developments is a good daily structure. If your child knows which program is valid during the day, then he or she can concentrate better on his or her tasks. If there are problems, listen to what your child tells you and tell the teacher.

If children are given appreciation and a safe environment, they can concentrate on their strengths. This does not always have to be a specific subject or school type. Sure, the pressure is high for children to take their Abitur at grammar school right away - but you better not let this make you feel insecure. Always try to have a positive effect on your child.

The teaching staff will tell you that they may have done their Abitur themselves in a completely different way. Other forms of school than the Gymnasium may be much more motivating for your child. Not everyone wants to learn words by heart in the university library at some point.

Be sure to talk to the teachers about the preferences of your children.

How can the teacher help me if I don't know what to do?

Your child's teachers can give you a good picture of how your child is doing in school. So ask them to give you detailed information on how you can help or get involved. The better a teacher knows you, the easier it will be to have such conversations.

This is what you can do if you feel insecure in dealing with the teacher

• Ask a family member for help. Maybe your child has a strong attachment figure?
• Ask the teacher if she can recommend good tutoring
• Get tips on how children can best learn at home

Conclusion: It is important that you can trust each other. This gives your child security and a good school time.

Education researcher Klaus Hurrelmann also makes it clear here on the parents' hotline: "Children want to be taken seriously".

Published on 02.11.2020