"My mom says we'll be strong together!"

How to emerge stronger from difficult times

Twice so far we have let parents have their say in our parents section. The mothers Lea and Svenja could report about their experiences in the Corona time. Now we want to change sides and let a child have its say: Lukas. He is 13 years old and goes to a middle school. For our theme week "Resilience" we talked to him about how he deals with difficult situations. Resilient children and adults have developed strategies for coping well with challenges: whether in times of corona or in everyday life, whether in times of bullying or divorce of parents.

Luke is a catcher of people and often gets caught in the net himself

Lukas seems very friendly and also a little anxious. I speak with him on the phone. I only had a little preliminary information: that he has a large family and his mother is from Russia, that his parents have separated and that he is bullied in the schoolyard. So that he often does not have it easy. When I ask him if he feels strong, I am surprised: "I feel strong, but others often don't see it." And when I ask him about his strengths, "I'm a people catcher. I'm very easy to get into conversation with people. But I don't take advantage of that." Unlike the perpetrators in the schoolyard.

Family and friends provide support, hobbies are distracting

You can't choose your surroundings. At most you can select. Especially when parents separate and the schoolyard is not a friendly place, hobbies and distractions help. Lukas then rides his bike or plays on the computer - sometimes alone, sometimes with friends. Another thing that excites and excites him is learning Russian: from his mother. Or an evening of games with his family. He doesn't get on very well with his father, on the other hand. "There was a history that ruined everything," says Lukas.

School social workers can also help - for example with breathing exercises

Because of the events in the family and the bullying in the schoolyard Lukas is often nervous. And also the daydreams, which he describes as nightmares, haunt him. Not only he suffers from this, but also his school grades suffer. What helps against this are calming exercises, which he has learned from the school social worker at his school.

Did Corona make it better? "Well, I thought it was really bad. Also that you couldn't see your friends", says Lukas. "And then you had to keep your distance even on the playground. That was annoying!" Even to do his homework he had to go to his aunt's house, because only she has a printer.

His mother gives him stability

What becomes clear with Luke again and again is the support of his mother. "My mom could explain things to me. She also comforts me and says that we will become strong together", says Lukas hopefully.

Published on 08.07.2020